An Open Letter to Rick Wakeman
Dear Mr. Wakeman:
You may remember my friend Lisa from such classic photo recreations as:
Lisa and Rick Wakeman: Caped Crusaders
There’s a little game I like to play called “Lisa or Rick?”
Lisa, rocking the keytar like a boss.
But the game has taken a dark and unexpected turn.
Suddenly, I’m having trouble telling the two of you apart.
Lisa or Rick? Who can tell??
And who could blame me? After all, you don’t just share a hairstyle and wardrobe.
You both have stage presence, off-stage presence, and a taste for intriguing instruments.
The struggle is real.
But there’s hope.
Mr. Wakeman, I know that if I saw the two of you together, side by side, I’d learn to recognize my friend again.
Think about it: you can meet the one and only Lisa, I can learn to tell the two of you apart again, and Lisa can stop fielding constant requests for “Catherine.” Wins all around.
We’ll see you in Chicago on Saturday, Mr. Wakeman. And, very likely, you will see us.
Love,
Maggie
No Dragons Press Blog and Podcast Release Planned with Ascraeus Press
So I’m sitting on my porch, digging how the ominously gorgeous Minneapolis weather (context: it is March) pairs with Weather Report’s I Sing the Body Electric and trying really, really hard not to fling my laptop aside and start shouting my excitement at dogs and pedestrians. Just trying to keep it together.
Because you guys. YOU GUYS.
*frantically waves arms while jumping up and down*
I am so super excited to tell you all that No Dragons Press HAS A PLAN FOR RELEASE. I am bursting with excitement at finally sharing this with you.
(Literally bursting. Seriously. Call a medic. And a janitor.)
No Dragons Press Coming Soon
True to form, this initial release plan resembles its original version about as much as “real-life stoners” resemble media’s two-dimensional caricatures of them: pretty much in no way at all.
An early draft of No Dragons Press. (Seriously, my stack of hand-edited drafts is astonishing—in both size and amount of red ink.)
I had first intended No Dragons Press as a series of episodes. When that became an administrative nightmare (and when I found an agent whose bio was basically my Ideal Reader—and who only accepted full-length novels), it all clicked into place that No Dragons Press would become a straight-up book series, each of five planned season becoming a book.
That was all I needed to be off and running. Something about no longer having to worry about the structure made me feel free to just write—and write I did. Now I’ve got one book ready for release, one halfway there, and a complete five-book outline.
No Dragons Press Is Still a Book Series
The five-book series is still the plan—eventually. But I’m the kind of person who wants to be able to finish what I start, and five books is a lot to finish when I’ve got oh let’s say just a few more tricks up my sleeve.
I am more than just a one-trick wizard. STOP TRYING TO SHOVE MY WIZARD PEG INTO YOUR NON-WIZARD HOLE.
But mostly, I don’t want to make readers wait between books (while No Dragons Press may no longer be structured in actual episode format, it definitely steals a few tricks from television as far as cliffhangers and open questions!). And I equally don’t want to make myself wait to get the story out there.
For these and many other reasons, now is the time.
No Dragons Press Is a Blog Series
After a few high-energy meetings over a sampling of the delicious craft beer the Twin Cities are known for, it was decided: before any books are published, No Dragons Press will be released, chapter by chapter, in its entirety, for free, to you, even as I write it.
*cue the Monty Python butt-trumpeters*
I am thrilled to announce that my partners at Ascraeus Press will be publishing each chapter of No Dragons Press on their blog, once a week, for (at least as far as can be reasonably predicted) the entire five-book series.
But here’s the other exciting part:
No Dragons Press Is a Podcast Series
That’s right, friends: in tandem with the blog series, No Dragons Press will also be released as a podcast.
*more butt-trumpeters*
Every week, another chapter of No Dragons Press: A High Fantasy Adventure will be read for you by yours truly, along with updates on current drafts, news, and special opportunities for listeners.
(I won’t talk your ear off, I promise—I plan for just a few minutes of this on each episode. But I’ll try to mention in the show notes when the actual story kicks in, just because let’s get to the story already, amiright?)
My current plan is for the show notes here at nodragonspress.com to include a transcription of the “updates” portion of the podcast, then a link to the post at Ascraeus Press of the chapter I read for you that day. The podcast will be posted at nodragonspress.com/podcast, linked to from each new blog chapter, and available wherever podcasts are found. Huzzah!
Stay Tuned for Updates
I look forward to bringing you details (including the release date) for the No Dragons Press joint blog and podcast series. As always, thank you so much for your support.
Love,
Maggie
Today I Finished Draft One of No Dragons Press: A HIGH FANTASY Adventure
It’s been a long road, you guys. Just about a year.
In that time, a lot has happened. My husband changed jobs. Chris Squire died. Friends and loved ones have moved away, gotten engaged, and/or conceived and/or born children.
But I finally finished the fucker.
And, outside of life changes, a lot’s changed with the book, too. First of all:
No Dragons Press is a book now.
Initially, I really wanted No Dragons Press: A HIGH FANTASY Adventure to feel like a series of fast-paced episodes, to the point where I wanted it to be episodes: five episodes per seasons, for five season.
But eventually I did the math, and with a total of 25 individual e-books (at least), I realized the administrative nightmare alone would take someone’s full-time attention to manage—not to mention I have no idea how I’d go about releasing something like that. No Dragons Press as a package needed to be…cleaner, more streamlined.
So the episodes became parts, and the series became a book, and this decision was in no way influenced by a certain agent I somehow stumbled upon who I heard only takes full-length books and who is, not kidding, 100%, in every way, entirely perfect for representing this project. Considering the what some might call “controversial” themes in my book (I don’t call it a “high fantasy” adventure for nothing), I think this specificity is important.
Which leads to my next point:
I’m currently seeking an agent.
I know, you’re not supposed to get too hung up on agents before you query them, and do your research and make a list and blah blah. But by “an agent,” I mean that literally: there is one person on my radar, and once I’m done with these final rounds of revisions and beta readers, I’m going to send him the first chapter, and he will be mine, oh yes—he will be mine.
Stupid? Maybe. But full disclosure: I was fully planning on self-publishing before I came across this particular agent’s profile. It’s just that he’d be so perfect.
So when he passes on it (can’t get my hopes up, mustn’t get my hopes up), instead of looking for an agent, I’ve got to move forward and publish the thing myself. And I’m going to do it in exactly three months.
Whoah there, Maggie. Slow down. What’s the rush?
I know. All of this is ridiculous. All of this is the exact wrong way to go about publish a book.
But here it is. Here’s the whole deal, here’s why I’m being such a weirdo about timing and agents and ultra-ultra-specificity.
This is a novel about marijuana.
Except no it isn’t. It’s a novel about Addie, a small-town twenty-something from the Midwest who works at a bar and doesn’t like her boyfriend, who suddenly finds herself whisked away to another universe where soldiers with big fuck-off guns won’t leave them alone and with no way to get home, and about how she eventually learns to take charge of her life.
And here’s the kicker—she does it without “repenting.” There is no repenting here, because in Addie’s opinion, there is nothing to repent. As story arcs go, marijuana is not the problem Addie overcomes. Deal with it.
I’m not going to explain to you how legalizing marijuana can save the world. Ask Google or Siri or whoever gets you through your day and you’ll find plenty of blogs, articles, and scientific papers that do a good enough job of that.
I’m not going to tell you to do something considered illegal in your state. (Other than jaywalking. Goddamn is it annoying to wait for lights when there’s no traffic.) Take a vacation somewhere legal if you’re interested, but don’t ever tell anyone I encouraged you to do something illegal. Right? Right?
What I’m going to tell you is that 2016 is a fascinating time. And on the edge of cannabis going mainstream, I hope to give a voice to a group of people who have been marginalized and misunderstood for far too long.
I want Addie to be the voice of regular, otherwise law-abiding citizens, who just want to live their lives and who know the science is on their side.
She has flaws, she has dreams. She doesn’t always know what to do. She doesn’t always know what’s going on. But she’s going to try, dammit, and when her friends are threatened, she isn’t going to stand for it, and shit is going to get real.
Now you know why I’m so picky about my agent: I want someone who’s going to champion misfits, appreciate ridiculous humor, and get weird with how to best present this to the world.
OK, but why the rush?
I’m publishing on 4/20.
If you’d have told me five years ago that in January of 2015 I’d be worried about beating national legalization, I’d have laughed in your face (though I’d have probably felt bad about it later and bought you a beer). That might have played out even three years ago.
But come on. With the ridiculous number of resources devoted to border control, both with Mexico and with states that border legalized states, with the staggering success of Colorado’s annual taxes on marijuana, not to mention the new opportunities for small business, agriculture, scientific research, therapeutic applications, incarceration reform, and don’t even get me started on the evil dick-bags preying on the American soul…
/end rant
The future is clear. It’s just a question of how far in the future.
National legalization is inevitable (and jeezy creezy has it been a long enough time to this point). But whether that happens in November, 2020, or somewhere in between (and let’s be at least that optimistic, okay?), I am sure of one thing:
Now is the time for Addie MacAlister to show the world what a real live “stoner” is like.
You know . . . one who has a job and pays her taxes and volunteers and stands up for her friends and likes to read and goes hiking.
Shocking.
And if my dream agent doesn’t pan out (can’t get my hopes up, mustn’t get my hopes up), there’s no time to fuck around. I’m going for it.
(Although I might try a #pitmad sometime. How does this work? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.)
It’s also a science fiction/fantasy book.
I can’t really decide which one it is, because there are multiple universes and monstrous electronic devices and giant guns. But there are also leather-clad woodswomen and magic portals and connecting with the land.
There are secrets, and there are lies, and there are grudges that shouldn’t be held and forgiveness that hasn’t been earned.
There is also the line “We may be lost in time somewhere, on the dank and tangly edge of some evil Shire bullshit, about to plunge in headfirst toward certain doom,” which I like quite a lot and does a nice job of summarizing Addie for you.
It’s funny, but in a dry, British sort of way, which I am not. (British, that is. I am occasionally funny.) I’ve previously described it as “adrenaline-driven Terry Pratchett.” I felt good about that one.
It’s also dramatic. There is jealousy and interpersonal intrigue and history and suspicion and lust and deceit. I’ve described it as “Lost, if Fry and Laurie were at the helm.” I felt even better about that one.
It is, essentially, the product of a very active imagination who wants readers to be satisfied and the world to be a better place where no one is killed or incarcerated for spending their time in their own horticultural pursuits with other consenting adults.
Who’s with me?
If this is just the kind of bonkers adventure you eat for breakfast (and if you’re wondering what, exactly, Tristan has against dragons), join me!
Help me steer this ship. When you join my mailing list, you’ll get special opportunities to help shape the world of No Dragons Press, plus early access, subscribers-only offers, and free books.
Or just say hi. I like that too. @nodragonspress